1.) The Light being arrives:
Roan and his closest friend Mr. S. sit on the bank of the river as twilight falls and the cold of night sets in. Time slides by as they stare at the Milky Way and wonder about the countless stars, talking for hours. Mr. S. asks, "Remember in the deserts of Mexico, when you were with the Blue Cold War Kid and you said you saw stars that wandered through the sky in strange patterns?"
"Yes, they zigzagged and turned corners."
"Were they like that one?" Mr. S. points at the sky.
"Yes, that's one of them."
Mr. S., still pointing up at it: "Hey, where you going?"
"Woah." They responded together, as it stopped for an instant at Mr. S.'s question.
They walked into the desert chaparral filled with sounds of the hidden web of life on this dark and moonless night. They came to an opening and found there an object that was about a foot square and perfectly smooth. They debated if it was a natural stone or some manmade item, for it was too dark to determine anything more than their hands could determine. It was sensuously curved and smoother than any stone they knew of, but heavy like stone, so it designated the meditation place.
Roan sat with his back against a mighty tree and closed his eyes to look inward. Nothing could satisfy in life, filled with the cries from unconditional union, Roan would dance toward death, starving for a path towards healing, as the culture raced ever faster down the whirlpool towards extinction. Spiraling to his inner being, where the ecstasy and the pain danced together, testing and teasing each other into ever more intense embrace. The calm in the center of the storm ever illusive as time compresses and higher awareness perceives the minutes dragging by like hours. Through the eye of fire, spiraling inward through a tunnel without end, Roan winds deeper into his being.
Then Mr. S. shouts out, "What's that?"
Roan jumps up as they see a bright light in the valley up the mountain. It appears to be shy and hiding behind some tree tops. More than appearance, there is a telepathic emanation of shyness.
Mr. S. again talks to it, "Come on out. Don't be afraid."
So it slowly glides forward and hovers at tree top level, a luminous disk with a rotating red disk on its underside and a sound of a spinning engine at an incredible speed. The light is blinding following the near total darkness. The air seems electrified and the smell of ozone is extremely intense.
2.) The hunters and their prey:
Then Roan gets a sense of something moving on the ground and looks at a blue heavy alien woman, with others behind her. She is about five feet tall and has huge very long muscular arms. She approaches swiftly and Roan raises his fist to punch her in defense. Her flat apelike face has black horns with white tips protruding from her cheek bones and one coming down over her nose. She stops for an instant, mentally indicating, 'go ahead and punch me in the face'. The shock causes Roans whole being to tremble. She has black short fur and yellow piercing eyes. The being silently laughs, raises a weapon like device, and Roan's body is paralyzed. Roan is disoriented and struggling to find his consciousness.
[ Commentary: This is a 'clear as reality' dream after the sighting from which Road sat up in bed as part of waking. Roan did not realized it to have reality until after seeing a butchered cow and finally accepting the material nature of the events. All that follows is memories which surfaced or just seemed to hover in the mind following that dream. ]
He finds himself on a metal grate floor in brilliant light and the blue beings are stripping off their clothing. They are all female and have large breasts that droop down toward their waists. Roan stares at them and they mock him, staring back with huge smiles and rows of big white molar teeth in black lips. Roan gasps in air, one of the few muscular controls not frozen. Roan stares at its teeth. The being comes close and opens its mouth revealing a greater number of teeth than a human would have. The horns seem to be black at the base and white at the tips, but the memory of them is a separate image from the eyes and the teeth. They seem to tell jokes to each other telepathically and silently laugh at Roan's fear and about his curiosity about their bodies. They seem to mock and tease in order to amuse themselves. Roan sees its glittering yellow eyes which remind him of the stone cat's eye. The pupils seem like black tunnels that descend into its horned head. They act out pride-full strides in a comical way and make obscene gestures as they strip off Roan's clothing and their own. They leave no doubt that they are completely in control and have fully present attention in every action as consummate warriors.
They then shower with him; holding him under a spray of chemical liquid or an ionic static energy field as they stand on the metal grate. Their long powerful arms seem almost gorilla like. Roan is shaking within his frozen being in horror at his situation. They lay him on a cold table. Then blue beings leave and then the lights drop down to darkness and his eyes adjust to a faint glow.
3.) The Telepaths:
A deeper terror fills Roan as he becomes aware of other beings flitting about in rapid bursts followed by stillness. He is limited by the fact that he cannot turn his head. They remind him of huge predatory insects. One comes over to him and he gets the sense of many legs moving under an insect like body that is held erect. It stares down at him. It has large black almond eyes and also smaller beady eyes on stalks where tear ducks should be. Its mouth protrudes like a proboscis. It talks to his mind, telling him to be calm.
[Commentary: For months after the event Roan would wake from a night dreams with the sense of this being staring at him. Even today, the sense of them watching prevails.]
It squirts a liquid into Roan's mouth. The taste is wonderful, yet it is too strong and starts Roan shaking with fever. It then performs procedures on Roan's body including taking semen. This feels like rape, a violation of his being, and his mind roars with anger and disgust. The fever drains away and Roan feels limp as a rag doll. The being looks down on Roan from a foot away and becomes extremely still. She seems to indicate telepathically that all this was a necessary purification and that he is now prepared.
4.) Mesmerized:
Roan is placed in an environmental chamber that has a high content of oxygen. It seems to be a hydroponic green house, with automated systems connecting the racks full of plants growing in rows, each with several vertical layers to maximize usage of space. The light is bright like sunlight, though has an artificial florescent quality. Though he could not move, some sensation was returning to his body and limbs. He sees another creature behind some racks of plants, sort of blending in with some plants. It has a white ferny appearance. The creature's eyes hypnotized Roan immediately. Roan's mental will to fight or run is far outweighed by amazement, wonder, and even adoration. The eyes are watery and so appear like loving eyes, as opposed to the blue being's calculating eyes or the insect being's cold eyes. This being had huge beautiful lotus eyes that sparkle in greens, blues, reds, yellows, and browns. Its eyes were somewhat birdlike, yet they seemed to look forward. Roan's whole being was absorbed in drinking in the intoxicating beauty of those eyes. Roan felt no passage of time. The being's form was hard to make out in the presence of those eyes. Its white face flowed back from its rainbow owl-like eyes with a flourish like a feathery cowl. As a deep trance seemed to encompass their locked eyes, Roan sensed mysteries beyond words.
Roan found himself again with the blue beings and they seemed to be solemn and proud of him, as if he had passed some sort of test. In an instant, he was standing again in the forest of familiar Earth. The blinding light surrounding him faded, but his body was standing in a different position that when the light first shone down on him. The shining disk left, moving up the valley with a weaving motion like it was swimming on the air. The incident was wiped from Roan's mind and there was Mr. S., as if the ship had just floated up and left a minute later. The sky was getting light and it was only around midnight when they saw the disk, so hours had passed. Even though they were both scientifically minded and well versed in science fiction, the light seemed like a being and they referred to it as such.
5.) The sleep of earthly life:
Mr. S. left at dawn with the smooth stone and Roan stayed and fasted for days, before returning. Mr. S.'s wife laughed when he got home and asked why he brought home a salt lick. Somehow Roan had lost his internal fire and was no longer in touch with the all like before. In the months after returning, Roan had trouble sleeping and would start awake. The events just described presented themselves as vivid dreams and vague memories over the following months, continuing for a few years. Roan also was an advanced student of meditation and would go very deep, striving to unravel what was happening.
Roan had a peculiar three sixteenths of an inch scoop in his palm, which had a clear layer and no pain at all associated with it. It was unlike anything he ever encountered. The events occurred in the early eighties in the San Raphael wilderness in California.
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